Conjecture: What To Expect From Indy IV

The one series I’d wished Lucas had made six of instead of Star Wars is finally premiering its new installment this sunday thursday. Because it’s a formula movie, here’s conjecture as to what we can expect. Hopefully that means spoilers. Sunday we’ll know. Well, I won’t until later on. But some will.

  • The Paramount logo will fade in and become—most likely—a mountain.
  • We’ll meet men … top men.
  • Because this is Indiana Jones in South America, expect to see huge CG Maya/Inca/Aztech ruins and lots and lots of yellow metal. That’s all there is to see in South America.
  • Indy will encounter snakes. And hate them.
  • Indy will be slapped on his face by at least one woman.
  • Because this might be the last Indy, expect a meaningful ending. Probably involving a reunion either between starcrossed sweethearts or—like Star Wars—between father and son.
  • The ground when seen from aircrafts, will look like a composite of pictures, planes and red lines tracing a map.
  • Because this might not be the last Indy, expect someone to be positioned as the next holder of the proverbial reins, in this case, hat and whip.
  • Bad guys’ heads will explode. Or melt.
  • The music score will be better than that of any other recent movies.

Because comments hold potential for spoilers, you won’t be allowed to. Normally you would. Not today. Because this is Indy.