Why are you revving your engine?

On my way home from work today, I stopped my bicycle at a red light. There was a scooter right next to me, also awaiting the green light. I noticed the chauffeur (is that the right word? I don't think so) had his right hand on the speeder. Revving. Wroom. Wroom. Wroom. Wroom. Wroom. On and on, like a nervous tick. Surely the scooter is recent enough that he doesn't need to rev his engine to keep it from going out, I thought to myself. It wasn't a particularly cool scooter — it was the type of scooter that'll make most casual observers think "man what a lazy person, why aren't you on your bike instead?"

It's fine. It was in the middle of downtown. I had a podcast in my ear, and cars were going by. The noise level was measured in enough decibels that I wasn't worried about falling asleep at the wheel; a little noise from a constantly revved engine like that will surely blend into white noise, I thought.

And it should have, but this pointless revving reminded of a motorcyclist who lives in the building across from me (fortunately not for long). I'm pretty sure he suffers from a severe case of douchebag-itis, enough that he should at least have it checked by a doctor (if you don't treat douchebag-itis early, you might end up buying a Porsche Cayenne!). Now this motorcyclist constantly revs the engine, to a point where I'm pretty sure it affects the performance of his driving — it's really quite ridiculous. Alas, this happens even when there are sleeping babies around. Of which I have one. That is, she's sleeping some of the time. She's not when he's revving his engine.

The difference between a motorcycle and a scooter is that one of them makes an engine-noise that could theoretically be satisfying to the part of the population that has octane in their blood. Theoretically. When I muster all the testosterone that I can, testosterone that's usually busy making me an exoskeleton for my daughter, I can sort of understand this.

I can't understand revving the engine on a scooter. Because scooters are not, and do not sound, cool. Ever. If you looked up cool in the dictionary, you'd see a picture of Miles Davis. Not a scooter. Not Miles Davis on a scooter. There would be no scooters nearby. No presentations discussing the birth of the cool would mention scooters.

So please dear scooterist, answer me this: why are you revving your engine?

Trust me. I looked long and hard for a "my other mode of transportation is a Millennium Falcon" bumper sticker on the scooter. Because yeah, revving the Millennium Falcon, that's cool bra', yo dawg). Unfortunately, such a sticker was nowhere to be found. I could only see an itsy bitsy engine, making loud noises by the rhythmic revving. I meant to chuckle, but I was baffled chuckleless.

7 thoughts on “Why are you revving your engine?

  1. The reason is simply this, many scooters are not tuned correctly which means that they will stall unless you occasionally rev up the engine.

  2. Regarding the motorcycle guy, I hate inconsiderate idiots as much as you – and I also drive a motorcycle.

    One thing I would like to mention about revving motorcycles, there can be a valid “excuse” for doing it – usually by new drivers. Most motorcycles can’t down shift when standing still and new drivers don’t always remember to down shift when driving up to a red light. So they end up standing still at a red light in 6th gear and can’t down shift to 1. gear.
    The only way to do it, is to lightly rev the engine and play with the clutch to down shift to 5th, 4th etc.

    But you should be able to easily hear if the person doing it, is revving because he thinks it’s cool – or he is trying to downshift while standing still 🙂

    1. Fascinating insight, thanks!

      I’m pretty sure he’s just revving for the sake of revving… I can’t imagine him driving 1 meter per hour (cruising towards the garage) in higher than first gear.

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