14 Tweets For Successful Living

One reason to follow me on Twitter is my themed tweets, of which the most recent theme, “Tips For Successful Living” is archived below in chronological order:

  1. Don’t let bad bicyclists stress you out. They don’t know any better.
  2. Pour the milk in your nescafe before the hot water. It’s a good thing.
  3. Spend time to earn time.
  4. If you can’t get up late, get up early.
  5. Boys don’t cry. But they do listen to The Cure.
  6. Spend less time worrying, than you do not worrying.
  7. If in doubt, green is the color you want to go for.
  8. Behind every great man, there’s a bottle of Kahlua, a bottle of Stolichnaya and milk until it’s light brown.
  9. Behind every great woman there’s a bottle of Kahlua, a bottle of Stolichnaya and soymilk until it’s light brown.
  10. There is no instance of a person having benefitted from working too long on the same thing.
  11. You can live a perfectly good life, without having to ever use PowerPoint.
  12. When life gives you a lemon, squeeze it over your chicken dinner and serve with salvie.
  13. If a machine can do some of your work, let it.
  14. At some point in your life, you should visit Sweden.

Upcoming themes include but are not limited to:

  • How to know if you’re actually a robot
  • 20 ways to cook rice
  • 96 reasons why Time Cop is better than Transformers 2
  • 42 reasons to quit smoking and pick up drinking
  • Why I think George W. Bush was a killer robot from the future
  • Why I find it unlikely that we’re actually in the matrix right now
  • 201 excellent and absolutely hilarious uses of the color brown

2 thoughts on “14 Tweets For Successful Living”

  1. Good thing you swapped the soy milk for the real stuff in your white russians! At least for the men. Why do women get the soy stuff? Soy milk is just… bleurgh!

    1. Joen says:

      Soy milk works just fine in white Russians. Really!

Comments are closed.