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Today you cease to be president, and I have to be honest: I will not miss you nor will I remember you fondly. I have, in fact, been waiting for this moment for 8 long years.
I have never been one for “what ifs”; at the very least my imagination has been limited to pondering what life would have been like if Abraham Lincoln had been a killer robot from the future. Having endured you, I now find myself thinking: what if Gore had been president instead… Would we have been in Iraq? Would we have been in Afghanistan? Would the economy have been in the drains?
Of course it can’t all be your fault, can it? Having seen you recount your own legacy on various TV-shows these last few days, I find myself almost feeling sorry for you. That’s when I remember. War, torture, surveillance, Halliburton, civil rights, habeas corpus, Guantanamo Bay, Abu Ghraib, Katrina. I’m told that even your no child left behind act left children behind.
I remember that these were all important issues and that you completely dropped the ball on each one of them. Of course you could always invoke the looming threat of gays marrying to keep your pawns in the fold. Goodness gracious, what might have happened if there had been a few rainbow weddings? Perhaps if more people could marry we’d see more happy people spending money on flowers, rice and cakes. To me, that translates into revenue, jobs and joy. Oh that’s right, your moral values: torture okay, loving couples marrying not okay. Wait what?
You’ve mentioned countless times that history will be your judge. I believe that is true, but not in the way you’d like it. I will remember your for your excruciating “bring ‘em on” fratboy rhetoric and your misguided religion-based ethics. Mostly, I’ll remember you for your complete lack of finesse. I wish I could point at you and laugh, but it’s just not funny anymore, not even when you talk.
Wishing things had been different,