Photoshop Is So Slow …

  • Photoshop is so slow, it should have a calendar instead of a splash screen.
  • Photoshop is so slow, a turtle tried to marry it, but Photoshop was late for the wedding and the turtle ended up marrying Windows 95 instead.
  • Photoshop is so slow, Adobe pondered renaming it “Please wait…”.
  • Photoshop is so slow, that these jokes were made waiting for it to start.
  • Photoshop is so slow, it was once mistaken for Real Player 7.
  • Photoshop is so slow, its builtin clock will shift to daylight saving time, twice, waiting for Gaussian Blur to finish.
  • Photoshop is so slow, painting a lens flare by hand would be quicker.
  • Photoshop is so slow, Iran has started using MS Paint to clone stamp missiles, instead of Photoshop
  • Photoshop is so slow, it makes iTunes look fast.
  • Photoshop is so slow, Adobe keeps adding racing stripes in the box to make it seem faster.
  • Photoshop is so slow, that hardware acceleration refers to using all 640K of RAM.
  • Photoshop is so slow, its interface was recently made way faster using Etch-A-Sketch Technology.

5 thoughts on “Photoshop Is So Slow …”

  1. Photoshop is so slow, a sloth doing tai-chi submerged in molasses said “Damn! That’s slow!”

    Photoshops acceleration technology refers to “like switching your plow-horse to wheat!”

    Photoshop is so slow, some guy built a mechanical photoshop simulator in Little Big Planet and outperformed it.

    Photoshop is so slow it takes it 3 hours to pause for 10 seconds.

  2. Photoshop is so slow that when they put it in the Large Hadron Collider, the TUNNEL started spinning.

    Photoshop is so slow it’s boot times is measured i geological epochs.

    Photoshop is so slow it startup code has more year-rings than a giant redwood.

    Photoshop is so slow it’s boot message says “Booting please wait. Maybe get a cup of coffe from the starbucks being built around the corner?”

  3. Photoshop is so slow it has a startup tip that says “Why not learn a foreign language while you wait? We included a russian grammar book in your photoshop box!”

    Photoshop is so slow I measure it’s startup time in “number of times I had to shave while waiting”.

    Photoshop is so slow the box includes dried survival rations for the installation process.

  4. Joen says:

    OH SNAP! You are on fire!

    Another friend at work suggested this:

    Photoshop is so slow, its progressbars are moving backwards.

  5. Nicolaj Schweitz says:

    Photoshop is so slow that my screen has frozen pixels saying “Thomas Knoll”.

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